A Gentleman

What does a gentleman do?

1: Good hygiene is a must. Don't just use a bar of soap, but do scrub yourself. Make sure ears have no wax in them and that privates and facial hair are clean and at least trimmed nicely. When applying deodorant or cologne, don't use a lot. Also, make sure you don't use too much hair gel (it's sticky).  

2 Pay attention to how you look. Wear clothes that fit your body well, eliminate flashy clothing and avoid fashion "faux pas" (i.e. baseball hats cocked slightly to the side). A simpler wardrobe will keep the emphasis on you, not your clothes, which will change your outlook. Get regular haircuts.  

3 A true gentleman is polite to everyone, in action and words. Always be aware of how you can help people. Wait an extra few seconds to hold the door for the person behind you. Offer to help an old or pregnant person get their grocery bags to the car. You don't have to be paranoid or risk killing yourself (i.e if you've got a precarious grip on something heavy, don't open the door for someone) but respect is paramount. Even if someone is being stupid, be polite and respectful. 

4 Be prepared to ask questions or make statements of courtesy, like "may I help you?", or "let me get that for you", or "I'll take care of that". 

5 Don't swear. Ever. Don't speak of vulgar matter. If it's too difficult to stop cursing all-together, tone it down a lot. 

6 Don't stare at and ogle women or say anything degrading to or about them. 

7 In public, don't: fart, belch, speak too loudly, be overly demanding/offensive, or drink heavily. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind. 

8 Give girls a little extra respect. Don't be obsequious, but neofeminism has kind of gotten rid of some basic politeness that they'll appreciate, such as opening car/building doors, etc. Don't put every girl on a pedestal (we're all human), but they'll really appreciate it if you do them favors, like giving up your seat on the bus even though they're not carrying anything heavy. 

9 Don't talk about yourself much. On the other hand, girls like to know a little bit about you so they can understand what you are talking about sometimes. In addition to making you a much more desirable conversationalist, it will make you seem more mysterious to not share too much, which many women find attractive. Get a basic idea of what's going on in music, sports, and politics. 

10 Learn to either avoid politics and religion until you know someone better, and learn how to be neutral if someone else brings it up. A simple shrug will do wonders. A gentleman doesn't make other people uncomfortable. 

11 Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for girls: they're automatically targets at night or in bad neighborhoods. Walk her to her door (or car) if at all possible. It doesn't matter how strong she actually is, if you're a girl people will go at you first, whereas by virtue of being male you're safer. If your girl has to park far away from her dorm or home, always offer to drive her to and from your destination. She will appreciate how caring you are about her safety. 

12 Remember to keep doing nice things for your girlfriend when you're around her. If she's carrying something, pick it up when she puts it down and always kindly let her know by saying "oh, let me get that for you", whatever the object is. Remember, being selfish is not attractive. If you are watching television with your girl and you know she likes a particular show or sporting event, leave it there. She will appreciate that little bit of selflessness more than you know. 

13 Show up with a card or a flower and not just for holidays. Expensive and showy doesn't matter, it's the effort. In fact, a rose, a little love note left on her pillow, or a heartfelt kiss will keep any girl happy for days. 

14 If in love, be sure to tell her often that you love her and make it sound meaningful. Be open about yourself to her and share with one another, making sure you laugh and keep things upbeat. Don't be a stiff bore. 

15 There are some things you shouldn't talk to girls about. These include how hot other girls are, or anything at all of that nature. If she's not into sports or video games, you can say a few things but then move on to something she's into. Girls tend to be more interested in books and music than in sports and video games, though there are plenty of exceptions to every rule. It's fine to talk about that stuff with your guy friends, but a gentleman doesn't do that. 

16 Stand up for your girl. Don't go around punching everyone who looks at her sideways, but if anyone's giving her looks or unwanted advances, intervene. Put your arm around her shoulder and move yourselves away, or go to her and speak up for her. The physical contact reassures her and lets the aggressor know that he's got to deal with both of you. 

17 Always have a straight posture (nobody likes a sloucher). 

18 Do not talk down to women ever. It's ok to tease but being cruel is not the way to go. Teasing does not mean calling them vulgar words, however. No matter how joking your tone is, it hurts a woman when a so-called "gentleman" calls them a dirty word. 

19 Avoid fighting, as it isn't the best way to solve problems, however a real gentleman never backs off when he's challenged, always standing up for himself and his values. Remember to prioritize and not sacrifice your values for someone who is clearly just picking a fight with whomever will join in. If someone is simply embarrassing himself by offending you, don't sink to his level, but walk away. 

20 If you do decide to fight, keep the straight posture, even if your rival is taller than you. Be reasonable, never use weapons, such as guns, knives and the like, as this kind of "chivalry" is from the old days and might end up seriously damaging you. And never, never fight in/against a group, for a gentleman only duels, do not try to be Chuck Norris. If your opponent is down, that means you made your point and it's time to stop fighting. Offer him a hand to get up, always expecting a bad reaction, as he might not have the same values as you have. 

21 When walking on the sidewalk or on the side of the road, gentlemen should walk on the outside(closer to the road), whereas the lady should be on the inside, protected from oncoming traffic.

If you would like to meet a gentleman contact us at www.lovepotionix.com or 913-952-2348.

10 Items for Success in Relationships

In romantic relationships, as with so much else, it’s the little things that count. Just as a mis-spoken word or odd look can throw a couple into a weeks-long feud, small and seemingly insignificant gestures can help keep a relationship on track. A little gift, an off-hand compliment, a moment of physical contact can vastly strengthen a relationship.

According to psychologists Nathaniel Branden and Robert Sternberg, who have both researched and written about the challenges of romantic relationships, these little displays of interest and affection can be more important than all the "active listening" and trust games in the world. Their research has suggested 10 keys to keeping both partners content, satisfied, and happy with each other.

1. Tell your partner you love them.

Although it’s true that actions speak louder than words, words often speak more clearly than actions. Take a moment every now and then to verbalize your feelings for your partner. A simple “I love you” or “You mean the world to me” can go a long way towards making your significant other feel wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship.

2. Show some affection.

Small acts of physical intimacy – the hand on the small of the back as you brush by in the hallway, your arm around their shoulder on the sofa, your hand on their thigh when seated side by side, holding hands while walking down the street – give your partner a warm feeling and convey the love and affection you feel for them. The littlest touch can be as important, or even more important, than the longest night of sexual intimacy.

3. Show appreciation for your partner.

Let your partner know on a regular basis what it is that you like most about them – what you admire, what makes you proud, what their strengths are in your eyes. Building a romantic relationship isn’t just about the initial bonding – it’s about encouraging and supporting each others growth over the course of your lives. Help your partner achieve his or her potential by constantly building them up.

4. Share yourself.

Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it’s important to you, share it with your partner. More than that, be sure to share more with your partner than you do with anyone else. While there is certainly a need for some personal space in even the closest relationship, give as much of yourself and your time as you can bear to your partner.

5. Be there for your partner.

It’s obvious what you need to do when your partner faces a major life challenge like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. But it’s just as important to be supportive when your partner faces life’s little challenges, too – an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced check. Don’t let yourself be a doormat, and definitely don’t stand for physical or verbal abuse, but thicken your skin a little and be the voice of calm and reason when chaos strikes. Listen to what’s bothering them and offer whatever help – even if it’s just sympathy – you can.

6. Give gifts.

Take advantages of opportunities to give material tokens of your love. Just the right book picked up at the bookstore, a special dessert, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store – anything small or large that tells them you were thinking of them. Leave a love note for them, or send them an Text Message at work to say “I love you” – again, the little reminder that they’re always on your mind will help your partner feel better about themselves and secure in your relationship.

7. Respond gracefully to your partner’s demands and shortcomings.

A big killer of relationships is unreasonable expectations. Unless you married a robot, your partner comes pre-loaded with a whole range of human failures and foibles. These are features, not bugs! Learn to recognize and appreciate your partner’s quirks for what they are: an essential part of who they are as people. Since our weaknesses are often at the core of our deepest insecurities, make sure you don’t pick on or otherwise go out of your way to highlight your partner’s flaws.

8. Make "alone time" a priority.

No matter how busy both of your lives are, make sure you commit at least an evening every week or two to be alone together. Have new experiences, share your stories, and just generally enjoy each others company.

9. Take nothing for granted.

Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your partner and the thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life. Remember that, if you’re happy in your relationship, your partner is doing a thousand little things for you every day to make your relationship work (as, hopefully, you are for them). Never take that for granted – a relationship is work of the highest order, and the second you stop it starts to slide away.

10. Strive for equality.

Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your partner as you would have done unto you. Strive for a fair division of household duties and other tasks, and don’t expect or demand special considerations you’d be unwilling to offer in return.

Contact Kansas City Matchmakers Love Potion IX at 913-952-2348 for a professional meeting with a Matchmaker to help guide you in the right direction in finding love, companionship and that special someone!

www.LovePotionIX.com - Mixing Singles and Creating Couples throughout Metro Kansas City and Johnson County since 1998