In romantic relationships, as with so much else, it’s the little
things that count. Just as a mis-spoken word or odd look can throw a
couple into a weeks-long feud, small and seemingly insignificant
gestures can help keep a relationship on track. A little gift, an
off-hand compliment, a moment of physical contact can vastly strengthen a
relationship.
According to psychologists Nathaniel Branden and Robert Sternberg,
who have both researched and written about the challenges of romantic
relationships, these little displays of interest and affection can be
more important than all the "active listening" and trust games in the
world. Their research has suggested 10 keys to keeping both partners
content, satisfied, and happy with each other.
1. Tell your partner you love them.
Although it’s true that actions speak louder than words, words often speak more
clearly
than actions. Take a moment every now and then to verbalize your
feelings for your partner. A simple “I love you” or “You mean the world
to me” can go a long way towards making your significant other feel
wanted, cared for, and secure in your relationship.
2. Show some affection.
Small acts of physical intimacy – the hand on the small of the back
as you brush by in the hallway, your arm around their shoulder on the
sofa, your hand on their thigh when seated side by side, holding hands
while walking down the street – give your partner a warm feeling and
convey the love and affection you feel for them. The littlest touch can
be as important, or even
more important, than the longest night of sexual intimacy.
3. Show appreciation for your partner.
Let your partner know on a regular basis what it is that you like
most about them – what you admire, what makes you proud, what their
strengths are in your eyes. Building a romantic relationship isn’t just
about the initial bonding – it’s about encouraging and supporting each
others growth over the course of your lives. Help your partner achieve
his or her potential by constantly building them up.
4. Share yourself.
Don’t keep your likes and dislikes, dreams and fears, achievements
and mistakes, or anything else to yourself. If it’s important to you,
share it with your partner. More than that, be sure to share
more
with your partner than you do with anyone else. While there is
certainly a need for some personal space in even the closest
relationship, give as much of yourself and your time as you can bear to
your partner.
5. Be there for your partner.
It’s obvious what you need to do when your partner faces a major life
challenge like the loss of a job or the death of a loved one. But it’s
just as important to be supportive when your partner faces life’s little
challenges, too – an argument at work, a rough commute, a misplaced
check. Don’t let yourself be a doormat, and definitely don’t stand for
physical or verbal abuse, but thicken your skin a little and be the
voice of calm and reason when chaos strikes. Listen to what’s bothering
them and offer whatever help – even if it’s just sympathy – you can.
6. Give gifts.
Take advantages of opportunities to give material tokens of your
love. Just the right book picked up at the bookstore, a special dessert,
a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed at the store – anything
small or large that tells them you were thinking of them. Leave a love
note for them, or send them an Text Message at work to say “I love you” – again, the
little reminder that they’re always on your mind will help your partner
feel better about themselves and secure in your relationship.
7. Respond gracefully to your partner’s demands and shortcomings.
A big killer of relationships is unreasonable expectations. Unless
you married a robot, your partner comes pre-loaded with a whole range of
human failures and foibles.
These are features, not bugs!
Learn to recognize and appreciate your partner’s quirks for what they
are: an essential part of who they are as people. Since our weaknesses
are often at the core of our deepest insecurities, make sure you don’t
pick on or otherwise go out of your way to highlight your partner’s
flaws.
8. Make "alone time" a priority.
No matter how busy both of your lives are, make sure you commit at
least an evening every week or two to be alone together. Have new
experiences, share your stories, and just generally enjoy each others
company.
9. Take nothing for granted.
Cultivate a daily sense of gratitude for your partner and the
thousands of little blessings he or she has brought into your life.
Remember that, if you’re happy in your relationship, your partner is
doing a thousand little things for you every day to make your
relationship work (as, hopefully, you are for them). Never take that for
granted – a relationship is work of the highest order, and the second
you stop it starts to slide away.
10. Strive for equality.
Make sure you follow the Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto
your partner as you would have done unto you. Strive for a fair division
of household duties and other tasks, and don’t expect or demand special
considerations you’d be unwilling to offer in return.
Contact
Kansas City Matchmakers Love Potion IX at
913-952-2348 for a professional meeting with a Matchmaker to help guide you in the right direction in finding love, companionship and that special someone!
www.LovePotionIX.com - Mixing Singles and Creating Couples throughout Metro Kansas City and Johnson County since 1998
Unfortunately a vehicle will still break down even with the best care, we all get sick from time to time and there are going to be good or bad dates before finding that special someone. A Matchmaker spends time interviewing, getting to know traits, qualities, interests, hobbies and lifestyle of singles for hours, days and weeks before selecting the most likely 'match' for a customer.
